ACCUSATION IN A MIRROR
By the authority vested in me, as my initial order, I will rescind all harmful executive orders and actions. The Un-American orders exterminated include:
Ethics commitments by the executive branch
Protecting worker health and safety
Enabling all qualified Americans to serve their country
The White House initiative on advancing educational equity, excellence, and economic opportunity for Native Americans
Expanding access to affordable, quality health coverage
Advancing equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and intersex individuals
Promoting the arts, the humanities, and museum and library services
Lowering prescription drug costs for Americans
I have eradicated so-called “free speech” that does not serve our agenda and ended federal censorship where we saw fit. Believe me, only acceptable speech aligns with us, not them. The right to freedom of speech is only correct when the speech is that of the right. You will not be a mouthpiece for the fake news machine any longer. Your First Amendment? It is mine to grant and mine to take away; do not dissent, do not protest, do not oppose. The law belongs to me, not some judge or lawyer. I alone am the authority because I am the most persecuted person in the history of our country. We are gutting the Justice Department and stripping it of its weaponized power, not for your justice but for my own. Our America First foreign policy will exist only to benefit our citizens, meaning your tax dollars will flood into Israel’s war machine to wipe out Gaza. Genocide? Call it strategic dominance. America first.
We’re getting wokeness out of our schools and out of our military, and it’s already out, and it’s out of our society. We don’t want it. Wokeness is troubled. Wokeness is bad. It’s gone. It’s gone. And we feel so much better for it, don’t we? Don’t we feel better? I stand for the military complex, but the Veterans Affairs (VA) is a leech; therefore, I demand that 80,000 of your healthcare employees be terminated. Do not blame me; blame the bureaucrats; this is for your own good, trust me. No mentally unfit freaks in the military. No trans soldiers, no exceptions. Military service demands honor, discipline, and truth, something a man in a dress will never understand. Commander Emily Shilling? Irrelevant. The fighting force will be pure once again. You’ll find out.
The police officers of America, who love me dearly, and I love them, serve me and not the people. No need to worry about those who crushed officers to death during a particular “peaceful protest”; the protestors were patriots, not criminals. Those losers who organized against the peaceful protestors were dealt with swiftly. The so-called “insurrectionists” were misunderstood, and their rights were infringed upon as they were treated terribly during their captivity. It wasn’t very pleasant. In the future, if you touch any cop, you will receive the death penalty. No exceptions.
As you’ve heard me say many times, we have more liquid gold under our feet than any nation on earth, by far. And now I’ve fully authorized the most talented team ever assembled to go and get it. It’s called drill, baby drill. National Parks? Gone. Regulations? Gone. We are going to rip the land apart and drain it for profit. And later this week, I will also take historic action to dramatically expand production of critical minerals and rare earths here in the USA. Canada’s lumber? Worthless. We have plenty right here in America, and to those treasonous park rangers trying to educate the public, you will soon have no parks to hide in. And any federal bureaucrat who resists this change will be removed from office immediately. Because we are draining the swamp — it’s very simple — and the days of rule by unelected bureaucrats are over.
My administration is also working on a gigantic natural gas pipeline in Alaska — among the largest in the world — where Japan, South Korea and other nations want to be our partner with investments of trillions of dollars each. There has never been anything like that one. It will be truly spectacular. It is all set to go, the permitting is gotten. As for Denali? It is McKinley again. President McKinley knew non-whites could not govern themselves, and we should honor his mission to Christianize and civilize the Filipino people.
Since 1975, rates of child cancer have increased by more than 40 percent. Reversing this trend is one of the top priorities for our new Presidential Commission to Make America Healthy Again, chaired by our new Secretary of Health and Human Services, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. I care about kids with cancer in a tremendous way, but not enough to waste money on research; we are pulling the plug, figuratively; everyone knows the research is a detriment to society. We, the Republican party, silently began this initiative in December. That money should go toward something that actually benefits America, like forcing more births while destroying public education—no woke ideology, no opposition. Any books that obstruct my party’s beliefs will be banned. Suppose you do not want public education. In that case, we will provide homeschool vouchers because we believe every parent is capable of putting food on the table while teaching their children at home. Still, you will need to understand your situation better because your SNAP benefits will also be gone. They, too, are what we consider to be fraudulent. Do not expect to work from home either, because that is too woke for business, and we all know that is not good for business. No welfare. Work or starve, as I rake in billions. We are winning on all fronts.
Do not trouble yourselves over the mere 293 days I spent swinging a golf club during my last presidency. Please do not get hung up on the tiny detail that it cost $152 million in taxpayer dollars for me to seek luxury at my clubs and resorts. A special thank you to the loyal supporters and the great American taxpayers who helped me claim a lot of money, $2.4 billion dollars worth, in my first term. A lot of money. Some say it is the most money a president has seen. How can I forget a very special thank you to the 800 thousand individuals who allowed me to make millions and billions? More than any president has ever seen all through my beautiful meme coin. Your loss? My gain, and that, my friends, is how we Make America Great Again.
We’ve ended the tyranny of so-called diversity, equity and inclusion policies all across the entire federal government, and indeed the private sector, and our military. And our country will be woke no longer. We have erased DEI, obliterated affirmative action, and restored the natural order. No longer will affirmative action be used to respond to systemic discrimination in the United States. Diversity hiring? Over. No more handouts for those claiming “historical oppression.” Equal opportunities for historically disadvantaged people are no longer a priority for the American people. White privilege is a lie. The real victims are those of actual European descent, and it is time to set things right.
We have removed the poison of critical race theory from our public schools, and I signed an order making it the official policy of the United States government that there are only two genders: male and female. We are gutting woke education because it dares to corrupt the next generation with critical thought. Shortly after taking office, I signed an executive order banning public schools from indoctrinating our children with transgender ideology. Women? Protected from the gender cult. Even when science says intersex exists, it does not matter; trans does not matter, and you will comply. The same goes for transgenic mice, but the word ‘trans’ alludes to something more insidious, like that of the deep state. Deep-state mice, I call them.
The Golden Age of America has just begun!
God bless America, and God bless our troops.
You will need it.
